Playing PUBG is bad for him, take his phone away,” I said in a strict tone. I was still sulking after the Valentine’s week thanks to my perennial singlehood. Kids are the closest thing to a cupid, therefore when Rajni aunty came to me and complained about her son Shanu’s mobile gaming habits, I went full ballistic. To be more dramatic, I even told her that mobile games were spoiling the child’s young mind and if this continues, he may even refuse to procreate in the future. Rajni aunty took away Shanu’s mobile phone and I felt like I had finally managed to take revenge on the angel of love.
Indian parents are on a high alert since last month. It all started when a concerned mother complained to the PM about her son’s gaming addiction during an event. While the problem is real, it also highlights how far Indian parents are willing to go to discipline their kids. ‘Eat those vegetables or I’m going to complain to the PM,’ has literally upped their escalation game. Peer pressure is passé, PM pressure is the new thing.
‘If the problem has reached the PM, must be dangerous,’ argued my Mom. While the issue persists, I don’t see how blaming everything on mobile phones is going to resolve it. Indian kids are subjected to things worse than gaming addiction.
Parents: Score more than 90 per cent or we are going to make you feel guilty about it forever.
Kid: But…
Parents: Get married before 24 or we are going to nag you every day until you do.
Kid: But…
Parents: Is this the time to return home?
Kid: But… I’m 30 years old and can do whatever I feel like doing.
Parents: Where did you learn to answer back? It’s all that mobile phone’s fault!
Recently, an 11-year-old boy also appealed to the Maharashtra government to ban PUBG. I couldn’t find any merit in the arguments that he put forward:
Mobile games promote violence: These are the kids who have watched the reruns of Baahubali while enjoying popcorn. These are the kids who worship broom, rolling pin, footwear, kitchen utensils as weapons of punishment and are used to parents beating the living daylight out of them. How can a mobile game add to this evergreen growing-up-as-an-Indian-kid experience?
Mobile games provide access to strangers: For a society that gets you married to a stranger, this shouldn’t be too much of a problem. In Western countries parents take extra measure to protect their kids from unknown people. In India, if the child is a troublemaker, parents request random strangers to scare them. They even tell the kids that if they continue to be a bad child, this stranger ‘Baba’ will come in night to get them. When it comes to scarring kids for life, random ‘Babas’ beat mobile games hands down.
Mobile games promote bullying: Indian relatives are the biggest bully in our country and nothing can top that. PUBG will stand no chance against a mobile game that has relatives coming on your screen and asking about your marks, job, life, marriage, kids at regular intervals. Scary.
When my Dad heard about this issue in the news, he was quick to blame the technology. “It’s all because of the Screen Effect. In our days, the movie poster used to say that we’re coming to a screen near you. But then you bought TV, desktop PC, laptop, tablet, mobile phone and brought the screen near you. Now you kids have started wearing virtual reality screens and are slaves to the virtual world,” his exact words while playing Farmville on his phone. I saw him harvest his virtual crops and questioned him on his double standards. He blamed my mobile phone for answering back to him.
However, after analysing the gaming debate, I started to feel guilty about the whole Rajni aunty situation and invited Shanu for a chat. I sat with him and told him about the problems that can arise due to gaming addiction and how if played in moderation, mobile gaming wasn’t bad. I even suggested that I would request Rajni aunty to let him play PUBG again, only if he promises to practise restraint.
“I don’t play PUBG because it’s violent. I don’t even like the game,” Shanu said.
“Then why do you play PUBG?” I was curious.
“My friend met a girl online while playing PUBG and they ended up celebrating Valentine ’s Day together. I also wanted to try my luck.”
I stopped blinking. I was jealous, furious, fuming. Thirteen-year-olds were dating while I sat alone on Valentine’s Day playing candy crush. How I wished that the cupid played PUBG so that I could have expressed exactly how I felt.
However, I took a deep breath, composed myself and called Rajni aunty.
“Playing PUBG is bad for him, take his phone away”.
(Sudhanshu Ramteke is a stand-up comedian)
