Breakups are not solely about the issues between two individuals; they can also uncover patterns such as disputes, angry exchanges, and the influence of friends or colleagues who find themselves entangled in the situation. In a recent interview, actor Himani Shivpuri reminisced about her initial years in the industry with Aishwarya Rai and remembered the environment on film sets during that period, especially with Salman Khan involved.
Reflecting on those times, she mentioned, "She wasn't very well-known back then. We were quite close at that time," and added that during filming in Hyderabad, "We would film in Hyderabad. This was when she and Salman were in a strong relationship, so Salman would visit every night and leave in the morning." She also fondly recalled their conversations, noting, "She was very kind and well-read, and we used to have many discussions. There were some things I couldn't share, of course. Beyond her beauty, I believe she is a genuinely nice person."
When questioned about the eventual separation, she mentioned on the Red FM Podcasts, “It didn’t work out. They would know best what the issue was between them.” She explained how she often found herself acting as a confidante for individuals experiencing relationship stress. Recalling a tense moment, she said, “I remember once we were filming in Film City. Aishwarya was working with Abhishek on Rohan Sippy’s movie, and Salman had arrived. He was telling me, ‘What is this? Make her understand. Look at Waheeda Rehman. She thinks she is very beautiful.’ I used to advise him to calm down and remain silent,” she shared. These reflections underscore how disputes can intensify and how third parties can sometimes become involved in emotionally charged situations.
How might a partner's habit of making comparisons during arguments impact the other individual's self-esteem?
Sonal Khangarot, a certified rehabilitation counselor and psychotherapist at The Answer Room, explains to indianexpress.com, "In my role as a psychologist, I frequently observe how ongoing criticism or comparisons during conflicts gradually undermine a partner's self-identity. Eventually, this triggers feelings of shame, diminishes self-worth, and may lead to the development of anxious or avoidant attachment styles."
She observes that over time, intimacy diminishes as a sense of security fades. For relationships to thrive, it's essential to critique actions rather than personal identity, and to provide reassurance along with feedback. Lacking this equilibrium, partners may feel inadequate internally, turning the relationship into a place of fear instead of development.
The part friends or coworkers should take on when they are stuck between two individuals in a disagreement
Khangarot, a psychologist, advises that friends and colleagues should aim to be a calming influence rather than passing judgment. He notes that when two individuals in conflict involve a third party, it is often an attempt to seek validation or alleviate emotional stress. Providing empathy is beneficial, but determining who is right or wrong can exacerbate the conflict and impose undue emotional burden on the listener.
An effective strategy involves establishing soft boundaries: listen without internalizing, refrain from relaying messages, and promote direct dialogue or seeking professional assistance. To prevent burnout, keep an emotional distance, restrict repetitive discussions, and be mindful of your own needs. Support should be empathetic yet controlled, allowing you to be supportive without getting involved in a conflict that is not yours to solve, advises Khangarot.
Improved communication methods for couples to manage strong emotions
Numerous people show their anger by making harsh or dismissive remarks, as strong emotions activate the brain's threat response. Khangarot explains, 'In such situations, individuals often protect themselves by attacking first, belittling others, or employing sarcasm to conceal deeper emotions such as hurt, shame, jealousy, or fear of being abandoned. Family patterns learned over time also play a role in this behavior.'
She suggests that more effective approaches involve taking a break from discussions when emotions run high, employing 'I feel' statements rather than making accusations, focusing on one issue at a time, and engaging in reflective listening to ensure each partner feels heard. Consistent check-ins, offering reassurance after disagreements, and occasionally seeking couples therapy can assist partners in expressing anger without harming the relationship.
