You’re not alone. Many of us, knowingly or not, fall in love with the concept of love—a version that’s idealized, dramatic, and emotionally consuming.
But is it truly love—or romantic addiction?
The Psychology Behind It
According to psychologists, romantic obsession isn’t just about fairy tales. It’s often rooted in:
Attachment trauma or fear of abandonment
Low self-worth being masked by validation from affection
Dopamine surges from newness and fantasy
A desire for emotional high over emotional depth
How to Break the Cycle
Get curious about your patterns: Are you falling for how someone treats you—or how they make you feel about yourself?
Journal your relationship history: Identify what made you stay, and what made you leave. Was it the person—or the fantasy?
Pause during the “spark” phase: Check if you’re skipping red flags or building castles out of conversations.
Learn to sit with yourself: Solitude isn’t emptiness—it’s clarity.
Therapy helps: Especially if attachment trauma or emotional codependency is involved.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting love. But if you find yourself longing for love more than understanding your partner, it might be time to ask: Am I chasing connection—or a curated dream?
Because the best kind of love is real, messy, and sometimes inconvenient. And the moment we stop chasing love like a movie, we may finally experience it like a life.
