Wouldn't it be great if we could stick to a boy meets girl (or boy meets boy — we're not discriminating!) narrative, which ultimately leads us to a happily ever after? But unfortunately, we're straying further and further away from the traditional concept of love every day. Today, online platforms have taken over the job of fate or destiny, and we're moving towards a fast-paced dating life instead of what we've grown up reading in fairytales.
Today, there are numerous other relationship statuses apart from single and committed. In fact, we've often found ourselves juggling with the occasional 'grey' area in a relationship that we don't especially enjoy! Of course, it is challenging to keep up with new terms every now and then, but believe it or not, that aspect of relationships actually has a name now — and it's referred to as a situationship.
What is a situationship?
When you're in the early stages of getting to know someone, there's always a typical amount of uncertainty that comes along with it. And while that's normal, there's also a good chance that it lingers on for longer than usual — leaving you more confused than ever. Think back to a time where you've asked the following questions: Where are we going with this relationship? Is he/she serious, or are they only around because it's convenient for them? You get the drill, don't you? So, if you ever find yourself in a space where you're more than friends but less than lovers, you're in the dreaded grey area known as a situationship.
How do you know if you're in one?
An undefined romantic relationship will often feel like limbo. There's an air of confusion — several things left unsaid and an unsettling awkward silence that reminds you of what you're not. Unlike friends with benefits, this relationship has only feelings involved, but there are no end goals or ground rules in sight for the two of you. If all of this sounds familiar, read on to find out the common signs of one:
You haven't defined the relationship: If the two of you haven't found a way to label the relationship, you might as well call it a situationship. Whether it is because it is too soon to talk about it or because you're hoping the other person says it first — this is the first telltale sign of a situationship.
There's a lot of inconsistency involved: Since you're not answerable to your significant other, you will find yourself making sporadic plans or cancelling almost ruthlessly. You may or may not hear from this person for weeks, and that will be completely okay with the two of you.
No one talks about the future: Your conversations are often limited to short term goals. In fact, making a plan three months in advance will almost seem criminal to the two of you.
There's only surface-level connection: In a situationship, you will find yourself engaging in light, fun or flirty conversation and steer clear of anything that requires a sit-down talk. If either of you'll feel like fleeing anytime there is a mention of communication — you're in a situationship.
You're always confused: Early stages of relationships are often exciting, but if you find yourself constantly puzzled or anxious, it is a sign that your relationship is actually a situationship. A lack of direction that comes with this person could also cause anxiety or stress.
What to do if you're in a situationship?
It is only natural to feel perplexed or frustrated when you're in the grey area, especially if you're hoping for something more. However, it is essential to be firm and speak up about this if you're sure about the person. Here is what you can do if you find yourself embroiled in a situationship:
Be sure of yourself and them: Chart out pros and cons for yourself and the relationship. Ask yourself if this is what you really want? Remember, you don't want to be with a person causing you anxiety and stress!
Don't be afraid to label it: Make your partner understand that labelling it is necessary, and there's no harm in doing so. A sure way to end a situationship is to be firm about what you want from it.
Be open to healthy relationships: Since there are various undefined terms with this person, keep a clear mind towards anyone who is offering you a healthy relationship. And always keep in mind that a good relationship goes hand in hand with lucid communication.
Know that you can change your mind: If you find yourself feeling guilty, give yourself the long rope. Tell yourself that you are allowed to walk out of anything that does not serve your purpose.
Talk it out: If you want a future with this person, there's no better way to clear the air than talking it out. As much as you dread it, have a sit-down talk with your significant other and ask them their deal. If nothing, you might also find yourself a closure that will put your thoughts to rest.
Are situationships all that bad?
As it turns out, they're really not all that bad. There's a solid chance that it might turn into a relationship. However, situationships are great for those who aren't ready to commit themselves to a long-term partner. If there's mutual understanding between your partner and you, there's no reason why a situationship is a bad idea. As long as there are ground rules and minimal expectations between both parties, there's barely any chance of it going haywire in the future. But, in the long run, it is always a better idea to be sure about who you're planning to stay long-term with. It is essential to keep in mind that even if they reciprocate your feelings, your relationship likely won't convert into something more loving overnight. After all, in 2021, we don't want to live with the cliches!