From thoughtfully planned dates to heartfelt compliments and simple acts of affection like gifting flowers, the traditional gestures of romantic courtship seem to be slowly fading into the background of a hyper-digital world.
So, what changed? And more importantly, is it really that outdated to want the little things that make love feel like, well, love?
When Did Bare Minimum Become the Norm?
There was a time—not too long ago—when showing interest meant actually making an effort. That meant planning a date instead of “hanging out,” noticing a new haircut, or remembering her favourite flower. But today, for many women, even receiving a genuine compliment without an ulterior motive feels rare.
With Gen Z navigating dating in a world shaped by memes, situationships, and the ever-elusive “talking stage,” emotional effort often takes a backseat.
A text reply within five minutes is now seen as romantic. A voice note? Practically a love letter.
The bare minimum is being applauded, not because expectations have suddenly skyrocketed, but because the bar has quietly been lowered. And many girls are left wondering: where did all the effort go?
It's Not About Grand Gestures—It's About Thoughtfulness
The modern woman isn’t expecting a Bollywood-style proposal on a rainy day or handwritten letters sealed with wax (though that wouldn’t hurt). She just wants to feel valued, seen, and cherished. And that doesn't always require a lot—it just needs intention.
Flowers are not about money, they’re about memory. Buying someone peonies because you remembered she said she loved them? That sticks.
Compliments don’t always need to be about physical appearance. Telling her she's resilient, funny, or has great taste in music? Now that’s attractive.
Dates don’t need five-star restaurants. It’s the effort—picking a spot she mentioned in passing, planning a surprise coffee run, or even a thoughtful walk in the park.
In short, girls don’t need princes with castles. They want partners with curiosity, kindness, and the initiative to do more than just "vibe."
Have Gender Roles Shifted or Just Slacked?
One argument often tossed around is that since relationships are more “equal” now, traditional roles like the guy taking the lead in expressing affection are outdated.
Yes, girls today also plan dates, initiate conversations, and express love in their own ways. But when it starts feeling one-sided—when effort becomes a one-way street—it starts to resemble emotional labor more than love.
The Rise of the “Effortless Cool Guy”
Another interesting trend is the glorification of the “effortless” or “emotionally unavailable” guy—someone who’s aloof, mysterious, or simply unbothered. While this archetype has existed forever, TikTok and pop culture have romanticized detachment to the point where indifference is mistaken for depth.
Unfortunately, this detachment has seeped into real-life dating habits, leading many boys to think vulnerability or intentionality is “uncool” or “needy.” But here’s the truth: it takes courage to express affection. And nothing is more attractive than someone who’s emotionally present and unafraid to show it.
So, What Does Make a Girl Feel Special?
Let’s break it down:
Consistency over occasional grand gestures.
Active listening and remembering small details.
Words of affirmation that feel sincere.
Being present, emotionally and physically.
Making her feel safe to express herself, without judgment.
You don’t need to be a poet or a planner. You just need to care—and show it.
It’s Time to Bring Romance Back
This isn’t a call for men to revert to 1950s-style wooing. It’s a reminder that in a world moving too fast, slowing down to genuinely appreciate someone can be radical—and deeply meaningful.
Romance doesn’t belong to a past era. It belongs in today’s love stories, too. And maybe it starts with asking her how her day really was, showing up with sunflowers just because, or telling her you’re proud of her—not because you’re trying to “get” something, but because she deserves to hear it.
