No time to waste: A dating trend that breaks the 'waiting' stereotypes

The Bridge Chronicle looking into the latest dating trend
Boss lady Pooja Bhatt in an alternate universe following the hardballing trend
Boss lady Pooja Bhatt in an alternate universe following the hardballing trendImage: Twitter/ TBC

Even in the times of fast dating and online dating, irrespective of what we are looking for, we may often find the opposite. Despite all the questions and filters that have taken over the dating world, finding what you want is extremely difficult. You may be looking for a real connection that may, or may not develop into something more. Or you may be looking for a fling just to get through some times. More often than not, we find the exact opposite. It could be the extreme guy who is only there for hookups and is completely emotionally unavailable. Or it could be that guy, who has just entered the dating world and is just waiting to find the girl who will become his life. But if you are looking for none of that, here a dating trend that can save you all the trouble.

Enter hardballing! What is that you ask? Famously known as dating like a CEO, here is a dating trend that helps women not waste time and keep their dating world on point. As defined by Shahzeen Shivdasani, author of Love, lust and lemons -- Hardballing’ means that you are confident enough to voice what you want from a relationship (commitment, a partner) and not settling for less than what you deserve.

The meaning of a relationship is evolving dynamically. Especially women are becoming more vocal about what they seek from a relationship. Not even 10 years ago, the meaning of a relationship was completely different. Dating had to lead to marriage and if it did not, women would face the brunt. The media also had a peculiar way of portraying relationships.

Women's portrayal in media

Remember Simran from Dil Wale Dulhaniya le Jayenge? During a trip to Europe, Simran meets Raj a young frivolous boy from London. They fall in love. But hell breaks loose when Simran's dad reveals that she is supposed to marry a man back in India. But because she is in love with Raj. Simran waits for Raj, even when she is not sure if he is interested in her.

Poor Simran doesn't know what the love of her life feels
Poor Simran doesn't know what the love of her life feelsImage: The Bridge Chronicle

Or every other Bollywood movie from 2000 to 2010, showed women to be the kind who would only suffer because she was with the wrong man. Take Jab we met for example. Geet (Kareena Kapoor) is with Anshuman, she is willing to get married after their 2-3 year-long relationship. But has to suffer because he changes his mind.

Geet suffers because Anshuman was not clear about his motives
Geet suffers because Anshuman was not clear about his motivesImage: T-series/ TBC

Women for the longest time have been taught their role in a relationship. A woman is always supposed to wait for the toxic man to learn to appreciate her and understand her value. A woman is supposed to take care of the house and be the ideal Indian women even if the man has gone off track. Remember how in Biwi No 1. Karishma Kapoor has to be the ideal wife even after Salman Khan goes out to have an affair with the "modern" Sushmita Sen. But when Karishma Kapoor takes control in her hand and becomes "modern" Salman Khan comes back home only to tame her into being the wife she is supposed to be.

Pooja becomes a modern girl in Biwi No 1 because her husband has an affair with one
Pooja becomes a modern girl in Biwi No 1 because her husband has an affair with oneImage: The Bridge Chronicle

This portrayal of women has affected society over the years. The debate of media's portrayal of society and its effect on society is one that has always intrigued thinkers.

Change over the years

But over the years there has been a change in the way women are portrayed in media. Women are not more in control of their narrative and have more power over their life. Their decisions are independent of the family, and this has empowered women in IndiaThe change can also be seen with the #MeToo movements and women speaking up against ill-treatments. Women are now not afraid to speak up about what they want and how they want it. At least in most urban settings. The situation of women in rural areas is still the same.

And taking the movement forward is the changing situation in the dating world. Online dating and fast dating also attracted a lot of stigma in the past few years. But throwing all of that behind is the dating trend: Hardballing.

What is Hardballing?

It is a concept where you are not afraid to say what you are looking for. It could be a relationship, a commitment, a friendship, a fling, or a hookup. Hardballing is essentially setting the rules straight for what you want and not wasting time beating around the bush.

This also paves way for not having to deal with clingy, or toxic men or women who are not looking for the same things as you. This also paves the way for not being shamed for not caring and going after what we want.

Yes, that's right! Even in the online dating and fast dating world, people are named negatively for not wanting what they want, and "wasting someone's time". But that's not the kind of world we are rooting for. We are currently living through times where equality is at the forefront and our generation is leading the fight for equality. And it is ok if someone doesn't want the same things as you. 'Hardball players' do not waste time with a flirtation that isn't going anywhere.

Why is it called CEO/boss-like dating?

Because you are your own boss. You get to put your terms and conditions forward. If it matched the other person's terms and conditions, you are good to go. If not, Thank you! Next.

Should you try it?

Of course, why not? We are living in a pandemic and none of the living generations has seen such uncertain times. This is not what we asked for. It's now been more than a year since we have lived normally. It is also the time when everything is tailor-made, customised to what you want. So if the dating world has something similar to offer, then why not.

In the end, we are all looking for that one partner, or companion with who we can share our darkest thoughts. And this is the way to make the search easy

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