Hey there! Before we jump into the FOMO JOMO mumbo jumbo, here is a small questionnaire for you. Read the following questions and mentally respond to each one with a Yes/No:

1. Do you often feel that your friends/peers are having more fun in life than you are?
2. Do you often feel that you are not enjoying your time to the fullest?  
3. Do you often feel that no matter how happy you are on a given day, there’s always someone happier than you on your social media feed? 

If your answer for most of these questions is no, congratulations; you’ve either achieved Zen mode or the weed that you’re smoking is highly potent. However, if your answer for most of these questions is yes, you my friend are suffering from FOMO.

For the uninitiated, FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) is the feeling of anxiety that people experience when they discover that they’re missing out in life. Thanks to social media, people can now see their friends/family doing better things and it makes them feel miserable. If you think you’re suffering from the same, then fear not. It’s time to convert your FOMO into JOMO (Joy of Missing Out).

Here are six sacred mantras through which you can defy FOMO and attain JOMO:
1. Greenam Grassam: It means that the grass is always greener on the other side. Raju might be flaunting pictures of his MBA degree from a fancy US university which might make you question your career choices. However, little do you know that Raju will go on to work double shift for the next several years to pay his student loan. So sit back and relax. Change Raju’s name to Debt Raju in your phonebook and avoid any future calls because he might try and sell you some pyramid scheme.
2. Control Uday Control: Bollywood has taught us that every time the mafia boss Uday got angry, he talked himself out of it with this mantra. Journey to JOMO requires self control and it is important to take a break from social media from time to time. If you’re getting jealous of Mamta for achieving so much in a day and are wondering why you can’t, here’s your answer. You are busy looking at Mamta, not completing your tasks. So unless Mamta is your love interest, give it a break.
3. Pri-your-tiesay: It means that you should be able to prioritise what’s important and be ready to sacrifice what’s not. If work is your priority, don’t fret over Babu’s travel pictures and think that you’re missing out. Tell yourself that you’ve work and that you can’t always make time to travel. Tell yourself that you’re a working professional and not the Prime Minister.
4. Money Money Money: It means that money is important and that you should use it wisely. Shopping sites are designed in a way to invoke the FOMO feels but you should stay alert. So what if there are only two gym kits left in the stock? How does it matter if 10 people are currently checking the sports shoes category? Who cares if three people bought the exercise machine in the last hour? Don’t let these marketing gimmicks pressurise you into working out. Prove a point, stay fat.
5. Presentay Livay: It means that you should live in the present and enjoy what’s there. Two timing in a relationship is considered cheating and similarly, trying to be at a different place mentally while ignoring your present is also cheating. Imagine not concentrating on a particular topic while reading that general knowledge book because you were busy checking Chintu’s honeymoon pictures. A year later you’re on KBC (Kaun Banegea Crorepati) and final question comes from the same topic. This example might be a bit dramatic but you get the idea – don’t let Chintu’s honeymoon come in between your dreams.
6. Statusam Ignoram: It means that you should ignore all the status messages that show that people are having fun. Most people just want you to believe that they are having fun. If Sushma was really having the “time of her lifetime” in Goa, she wouldn’t bother posting every two minutes on Instagram. She’s just showing off. In reality, Sushma has suffered sunburn, the heat is killing her and she is tired of watching her friends throw up after excessive drinking. The “woohoo” in her stories is more of a cry for help.

That’s it. Follow these mantras and you’ll find your FOMO converting into JOMO pretty soon. You’ll find peace in spite of all the social media clutter and soon you’ll see wonders happening in your life.

Before you go, here’s one last mantra — JOMO is important but it shouldn’t stop you from having unique experiences in life. You know why? Because YOLO.

(Sudhanshu Ramteke is a stand-up comedian)