I  find it difficult to say ‘No’. I am working in an MNC in Hinjewadi for the past three years and am 29 years old. I realise that I am not able to refuse anyone when they come to me for help, be it my colleagues, my friends or family. I do not want to hurt anyone’s feelings, but it interferes in my work and disturbs schedules at times. I have also been patiently waiting for a promotion which doesn’t seem to be happening despite being a team player and working sincerely. I’m quite a popular person everywhere I go because people tend to like me.
I rarely participate in heavy discussions and usually say yes to most things under debate and steer off controversial topics. I do not like to offend anyone’s sensibilities. But I like to help people when they come to me for help with their work or personal life.
Some of my colleagues and friends have warned me against saying yes to people all the time, but I think they may be jealous of my popularity. Shouldn’t they be encouraging me to be helpful and positive? I’m confused. Please advise.

Okay, okay, I get the point, Mother Teresa! Your cup overflows with the nectar of human kindness and generosity, and the effects are already beginning to show in your corporate performance and your ‘promotability’ factor.

People with your kind of disposition are not really seen as leadership material by the senior management. It is very easy to say ‘yes’ and quite a difficult task to say ‘no’. Leadership is actually the art of saying ‘no’ when the situation demands it in the interests of the organisation and achievement of your own professional goals. One can be accommodative and helpful but not to the point where it starts interfering with your organisational functions which includes adhering to the deadline of certain tasks.

Perhaps you are insecure about your personality attributes and ‘likeability’ factor. You think being extra helpful will contribute to your popularity and help you garner attention and importance from the world at large. But the people piling on to you for help are the ones who are always on the lookout to shirk their responsibilities or focus on other career-building measures. The political implications of such behaviour are hard to miss.

The people who really care for you will not indulge in such activities and actually indicate to you the perils of such an attitude. Recognising genuine well wishers and separating them from the matlabi (selfish) type requires an astute understanding of human behaviour which comes with maturity and experience.

But we, after all, are all victims of our emotional make up which dictates our attitude towards life and its myriad complexities. If you are content with yourself and your soul is satisfied at the end of the day, then just ignore the repercussions on your career, which is but only a byproduct of your viewpoint. And don’t be apologetic about it. Just strike a balance between popularity and professionalism.

(The writer is an image consultant and corporate trainer. If you have queries for him, send them to features@sakaaltimes.com)