Gaslighting isn’t just an IRL manipulation tactic anymore. It thrives online. And most of the time, you don’t even realise it’s happening.

If you’re feeling drained, doubting yourself, or stuck in a cycle of second-guessing after digital interactions — pause. You might be getting gaslighted.

Here’s how to spot it.

1. They Constantly Say “You’re Overreacting” to Your Feelings

You express discomfort — maybe about a late reply, a disrespectful comment, or a joke that felt off. Instead of hearing you out, they flip it with:

“You’re so sensitive.”
“Wow, calm down.”
“I was just kidding. Relax.”

Red flag: Dismissing your emotions is the oldest gaslighting trick. If someone constantly invalidates your feelings, they’re not “chill” — they’re controlling.

2. They Delete Messages and Pretend They Never Said That

Ever been in a heated conversation and suddenly the texts are gone? They backtrack, delete, or edit replies — and then act like it never happened.

“I never said that.”
“You must’ve misunderstood.”
“That’s not what I meant.”

Red flag: Manipulators use digital tools (unsend/delete features) to erase proof and alter reality. That’s digital gaslighting in action.

3. You’re Always the One Saying Sorry — Even When You’re Hurt

They mess up, but somehow, you’re the one apologising. You overthink every word, fearing they’ll twist it or turn cold if you stand your ground.

“I didn’t mean to upset you…”
“Maybe I was being too emotional…”
“Sorry, I misunderstood…”

Red flag: When the power dynamic is this one-sided, it’s emotional manipulation. Healthy conversations don’t feel like walking on eggshells.

4. They Twist Past Events to Fit Their Narrative

You bring up something that happened — a lie, a hurtful comment, a broken promise — and they completely rewrite the story.

“That never happened like that.”
“You’re remembering it wrong.”
“You always exaggerate things.”

Red flag: When someone constantly distorts your reality, they’re trying to control the version of the truth that benefits them.

5. They Use “Proof” or Screenshots to Make You Doubt Yourself

Sometimes, gaslighting is masked as “logic.” They show old messages, timestamps, or out-of-context screenshots to discredit your experience.

Red flag: Evidence isn’t always truth. If they’re selectively using it to shame you, shut you down, or make you feel “crazy,” it’s not clarity — it’s coercion.

6. You Feel Drained After Every Chat — But Can’t Explain Why

This is your biggest clue. After talking to them, you feel mentally foggy, emotionally small, or just… off. You scroll through old texts to reassure yourself you weren’t wrong. You feel like your voice doesn’t matter.

So, What Can You Do?

1. Start documenting: Keep screenshots, journal interactions, and trust your memory.
2. Set boundaries: “I don’t like how this is making me feel” is enough.
3. Talk to someone you trust: An outside perspective helps break the confusion cycle.
4. Don’t explain too much: Manipulators thrive on emotional access.
Walk away, block, unfollow: Digital spaces are your space too. You deserve safety.

Gaslighting — online or offline — chips away at your sense of reality.

But once you name it, you take back the power. You don’t owe anyone your confusion, silence, or self-doubt.

Your feelings are real. Your memory is valid. And your peace is worth protecting — even if that means hitting "unfollow" on a manipulator with perfect selfies.