Rekindling an old flame can feel comforting — like sliding into a hoodie that still smells like them. But is it love, loneliness, or a lack of closure?

Here are 5 brutally honest questions to ask yourself before getting back with an ex — because nostalgia isn’t always the same as growth.

1. Why Did It End in the First Place?

Time may blur the bad parts, but don’t romanticize the breakup.

Was it:

• Constant fights?

• Emotional neglect?

• Cheating or broken trust?

• Or just… growing apart?

2. Are They Saying Sorry — or Showing Change?

An apology is nice. But real growth is visible in consistent behavior, not cute texts.

Look for:

• Therapy or self-reflection

• Respect for your boundaries

• Actions that align with words

3. Are You Lonely — or Do You Miss Them?

It’s human to miss connection — but that’s not the same as missing the person.

Ask yourself:

• Do I miss how they made me feel? Or who they really were?

• Would I reach out if I wasn’t feeling low or nostalgic today?

• Am I filling a void — or seeking something meaningful?

4. Would a Reunion Be a Step Forward — or a Step Back?

Does getting back with them align with your current values, growth, or future plans?

Sometimes people outgrow each other — even if love still lingers. That doesn’t mean the love was fake. It just means you’ve both evolved.

5. What Do Your Closest People Say?

Your best friend. Your sibling. The ones who saw you cry post-breakup.

They often hold a mirror you can’t see. If the ones who love you most are hesitant, listen — not out of fear, but out of clarity.

Yes, people can change. And sometimes, love deserves a second shot. But only if both partners have done the inner work and want the same future.

So, if you’re at that crossroads, don’t rush. Reflect. Talk. Heal. And remember:

Getting back with an ex shouldn’t feel like drowning in the past — it should feel like building something new, with bricks of growth, not guilt.